Comfort Zone

I should have been filling you in on what has been happening quiet sooner I know, I’ve been so caught up. And quiet honestly sometimes it’s better to talk about something than to write it down. So lately I’ve been talking about what I’ve been going through more than I have been reflecting about it on paper, which may be a bit odd for me because I’ve always been the one who prefers it to be the other way around.

The well anticipated last day of psychosocial block has come and pass, it was this past Tuesday 15/10/2013 J same day as my final treatment demonstration. So has my finals presentation on my last client which took place the week before that on the 08/10/2013. I look at my timetable and reflect on the time that has gone by, I can’t believe two months have passed so quickly; that first day which filled my tummy up with butterflies is gone, those stressful nights of blocked creativity trying to think of the best activity for your clients are gone, the constant texting to your mates asking for help and reassurance coz you just not feeling good about yourself, the days of excitement for wanting to go to prac because you’re anticipating a good day and that “please let me stay in this Tuesday I really don’t want to go” days are gone. I’ll admit, some days I wish it would end and other days I wished the days were longer. Others days were long and tiresome while others were days of laughter and instillation of good memories. Now all of that and more is over! Well at least for now. For me North Bay Lodge is a bittersweet experience that I’m definitely taking along with me.

The 15 of October was the day we were all looking forward too. Others are glad it’s over, others just made it through, and others are wishing for a second chance, others are wishing for more time; while I’m just here wishing for a better chance. I’m also happy that I was able to make it through my psychosocial block, don’t get me wrong. I just wish I had done it with a better state of mind. Better state of mind for me is more positive, more confidence and for me to be in a better position of trusting myself and my potential, because this could never be so true for me “you never know what can happen until you DO” Maya Angelou. Do it and fail at least, and regret that, rather than not doing at all. And I feel that’s where I let myself down. I did just about everything right during my psychosocial prac, nothing less and nothing more, just enough to get me by. Surely that’s not what I want for myself.

In occupational therapy we make use of a lot of models and theories to try and analyze; understand and hypothesize a client’s acceptance and response to treatment based on their cultures, socioeconomic status, environmental influences, their diagnosis, their roles and their occupations etc. there are brilliant models such as MOHO, PEO and kawa models that are effectively used around the world but OT's. Being exposed to so many models, I’ve come up with a model of my own. Lol well not a theory but it’s a diagram that helps me explain my constant state of mind that tends to influence my competence and confidence when I’m faced with challenges in life.  

The picture above is a diagram that illustrates the model I use to describe the box my mind lives in. in this instance it’s a circle. As you can see in the illustration above there are two circles, a big circle and a small circle. And in the small circle reads, your comfort zone, but as you can see, it’s so small that it has to have an arrow pointing to it because it can’t even fit the words within it. The bigger circle reads, where the magic happens and it’s big enough to have the worlds within the circle. The rest of the picture is a black simple background with nothing on it. from that I understand that, the small circle can be anywhere within the black background, it has the potential to be close, far or just floating around randomly and have no clue of where the magic circle is. So how is this picture relevant to me?

It’s relevant because I consider my mind to be the smaller circle. It’s not the smaller circle because I have a small mind or because I think small, it’s there because it’s comfortable, it has settled and it doesn’t want to move. Now what the eyes see at times can be deceiving, but I promise you I’ve seen better, I’ve been in the mist of better and I’ve experienced better. And better or great is not within the comfort zone. Magic happens where open minds are found. Minds which explore, question and wonder. And no one ever does that comfortably. You have to get up and do because the mind really does work like a parachute; it only functions best when it’s open. So NO, I don’t want to be comfortable. Being comfortable is inches away from being better or great and finding your place where the magic happens.  And that’s where I want to be. I want to be where the magic happens.  My brain thinks of just enough to make it by comfortably, and that’s only because I don’t challenge it enough that it has become comfortable with doing just about enough. It’s content with being average. But I’m not content with that at all. I want more, and like I’ve said; I know better which gives me a chance to do better and I don’t have an excuse of not trying.

So as my 2013 academic year is about to end, I’ve got that one last kick of a dying horse. I’ve have exams coming up. It’s never too late to try and be something better than what you are, I believe that to be true for myself too. Every time, constantly I have to remind myself that I know better, therefore I should do better. I can do better! It’s just hard trying to motivate yourself every time; to be conscious of your inner drive every time you engage in something so that you are able to carry on in the mist of adversity. But I just have to remember  to also try and find inspiration in the things that I see, the experiences I’ve been through, those I haven’t been through and those I wish I don’t have to go through.  I’ve got friends, I’ve got family, I’ve got food, I’ve got shelter, I’ve been given the chance to learn, I can read, and at times I found myself in the space of great minds, I’m exposed to different cultures and  students and world scenes. It’s these many little things I need to use to remind me that I’m at a better opportunity to make something good of myself and that I can’t just be ordinary, and studying a career like OT, I’m already not ordinary (it’s too late to try and fit in, ha-ha). And that’s why then I just have to be the best I can possibly be. There is a bigger picture here, and that’s why it gnaws my mind when I find my thoughts within ordinary bounds. I have to get out.

INSPIRATION

For the past two months I have been doing my psychosocial practices at a site in Durban north known as North Bay lodge. During my time there, my group and I were given a project to identify the occupational barriers of the facility and come up with means of sustainable intervention for the identified barriers.

The actual implementation of our project was this pass Friday the 12/10/2013, it was the climax of the project because what we had been working on for weeks had to be evident on the day. This was the day where everything we’ve worked so hard on needed to come together and culminate into this one giant doable idea. But on the day we were encountering a few problems /“gremlins” (as my supervisor would call it) about our project; that it lead us to kinder doubt what we had planned and if what we have in mind as a collective will be projected as a true reflection of the passion we had when we decided to take on the project.  In the mist of panic, doubt and anxiety that each of us were going through, our supervisor gathered us all and shared a few words of encouragement with us.  She also showed us a little video that reminded us that we are only human and that each happening is for a reason, and therefore whatever comes, may come. But we should rest assured that we did our absolute best. I don’t know about the rest of the girls, but this little clip sure inspired me to face the day and many other days ahead. In my days of self doubt and negativity and days of overwhelming sense of defeat. I’ll have a look at this video and remember the greater purpose of life. It will help me carry on. Apparently I’ll be using it as a resource of encouragement next year when I’m doing my 4^th year of OT pracs (see what I did there? Already looking into the future) ;) Have a look!

I will be sharing more about what the actuall project was all about, but for now just know that friday turned out to be a successful day for my team and I, and i hope eveyone else recieves our project well when we actually present to the rest of the class and other lectures and supervisors from other venues when we present it.

MY lesson on groups,

SING DON’T READ…So wake me up when it’s all over, when I’m wiser and I’m older. All this I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost. So wake me up when it’s all over, when I’m wiser and I’m older. All this I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost.

Now you can read ;)

These are the chorus lyrics from a song by Avicii ft Aloe Blacc- Wake Me Up, one of my favorite tracks right, now you should check it out. It’s the same track I was rocking out too last Friday night at our OT annual ball. Like the 2013 class of OT4’s would put it. It was AMAZEBALLS!!!!  I’m so glad I went to the ball because if I hadn’t; I would have missed out on a great night filled with lots of love, support and great spirits

I remember having to grasp the idea that at the beginning of 2013; I would be joining a new class and would have to leave the friends I had made from my previous class. The idea of having to leave my friends was more whack than me having to repeat the modules that I had failed. It was the whole thought of having to transition from fitting in or standing out again. Because whether we accept it or not, every individual that steps into a new territory has the innate feelings of wanting to belong and be accepted. And I knew I’d have to go through the same thing with my new class. It was such a huge change for me because the characters from my previous class and my new class were so different. And I thought to myself, what have I done?  How could I have let them get away haha…it was a true realization that I actually hadn’t known what a cool ass class I had belonged to till I had been taken out of it. Well I knew my previous class was cool, but compared to this new class right here; they were off the chains cool, lol. I missed my friends, I missed the laughs, I missed the honesty and sincerity and the characters from that class; all in all I just missed being with them.

8 months down the lineJ, I have a different opinion ofcos; I’m actually really pleased that I only get to share my feelings about this now because now I can safely say I’ve had an experienced of both worlds and what I have to share now is a true reflection of how I really feel.; Whereas at the beginning of the year I probably would have expressed all negatives. My opinion about my previous class hasn’t changed ofcos; they still are a cool ass bunch. But now I’ve got a chance to learn about my new OT crew (and who they are as a group and as individuals) I’ve now gained respect for them;  have stopped comparing them and have found my space. I think they are a dynamic group filled with great minds, and I’ve got love for them tooJ.

I just remembered something that was said by the guest speaker at this year’s research day. She said most professors don’t have social skills because they don’t necessarily care about one individual but they have a set mind of influencing more than one person and so would rather change the whole of humanity. So it’s not necessarily the fact that they don’t care about people and socializing and interacting, it because they care enough that they would rather use the time spent on socializing on changing the world. Now I know most of the time lecturers think that the peeps from my class just care about their marks, TRUE. In the beginning I also got that idea from them because well, it’s all they ever obsessed about, marks! Who did well in this? Who got what for that? Blah blah. Which is a good thing, it’s a good thing because it challenges them and it challenges everyone else to step up their game. But I don’t think that’s who they are, they not a group of individuals studying OT just to get great grades. They just individuals trying to be the best they can possibly be; and the only way they knew how was to do it and to do it alone. By alone I mean that you don’t let anyone know that you’re not coping, don’t ask for help, don’t give help; just mind your own business and get on with it. When I first got to know them, it was like they didn’t know each other, they just kept to themselves and nobody really cared about anyone else really. But I’m glad that has since changed over the months.

And like the guest speaker had said, individual vs. humanity. Maybe this was the biggest difference between the two groups that I’ve come to know and understand. Maybe the only difference is how they each plan to change the world.

The first group of friends that I know just understood the fundamental concept of knowing how to change the whole of humanity by changing the inner circle first, consciously or subconsciously they understood that by helping each other as a group they can qualify to help others out there in the world.  The first group’s strategy is changing the individual who will one day change the world. And the first group just has better social skills; that’s all! Hahahahaha. While the second group just knew to change the world alone, so they forgot the individual person and focused on humanity (perhaps like the professor). That’s what I think. And who’s to tell who will make a better OT one day Huh? I don’t know. But what I do know is; each group could learn a lot from each other

World Federation Of Occupational Therapists

As a class we were asked to read an article written by the World Federation of Occupational Therapists position on human rights. http://www.nzaot.com/downloads/contribute/HumanRightsPositionStatementFinal.pdf

The World Federation of Occupational Therapists? “The World Federation of Occupational Therapists (WFOT) is the key international representative for Occupational Therapists and Occupational Therapy around the world and the official international organization for the promotion of Occupational Therapy. Founded in 1952, WFOT currently has 66 member associations.” I have to mention this but it’s embarrassing to do so, and that is. I can’t believe I’ve never paid attention to WFOT. I’ve seen the acronym WFOT here and there but I’ve never paid attention to who they really are and what they stand for. They are essentially the root and core definers of the career I’m currently pursuing but I didn’t know about them. I have to admit that to be disappointing on my behalf, but like Maya Angelou says “when you know better, you do better” I hadn’t known about the federation then, but now that I do it’s important that I get to understand what they stand for and understand how I can adapt and adopt their belief system into making it beneficial for me as a student, for me as a therapist in the future and for the clients I will be working with currently and in the future.

For me to find out about  WFOT was enlightening because it helped me realize that there is a greater group of terrific minds that are centered on improving, empowering and constantly enabling individuals the same way I hope to do so. it also reminded me that this “crazy” idea that I have of wanting to change the world through OT does not lie on my shoulders and that it’s safe to want to change the world through OT because there is already of group of people on the same mind path as I am. Seeing OT”s doing their job individually (whether at the hospital or school or wherever they may be based) is inspiring, but that inspiration is to a greater extent when having to realize that there are people so passionate about inflicting change in the world they have actually formed a group that has existed just over 60 years that have been doing it.

When reading the WFOT position on human rights, what I concur with and what I liked most was the emphases on occupation as a RIGHT and a need for individuals because for me this then added a new light to what I understand about occupational therapists. And that is, occupational therapists not only help individuals engage in meaningful purposeful activity because it’s what they want to, or need or have to do. But most importantly it’s because OT’s understand that it’s their RIGHT to do so, It’s every individual’s right to participate, to be supported when doing so and in participation be given the platform to do it freely without any form of societal, religious, spiritual, cultural, or environmental barriers to that occupation.

Visit the WFOT website:
http://www.wfot.org/ 

I MISS MY "COLLEGE" TIME

 

It’s Monday the 23^rd of September just before heritage/ Braai day and here I am in my room back at res from home L . That’s sucks right? Spending the weekend at home was all the time I can spare and my little sister wasn’t impressed with me at all, neither was my gran, but hey;  it’s all the time I had to share with them  if I want to manage my hectic upcoming week. And when I say hectic, I mean I keep thinking about how am I gonna do this hectic. You know when you have so much work to do; you don’t even know where to start. Or ironically when you have so much work to do you somehow end up procrastinating by doing the last thing you’d ever do when you have all the time in the world. This is me procrastinating…mmm what will I cook for supper today??? See anyone that knows me knows I hate cooking with all of me, it’s the last thing I ever do, ever! And here I am wasting time by thinking of what to cook. Gardamit. I knew I wanted to get started with my work, but that thought of cooking was a definite green light.  So to help me out with trying to figure it out how I’m gonna do this, the 1^st suggestion my brain made was to leave home. 1^st suggestion DONE! As much as it sucks, it’s really gonna help because I’m not productive when I’m at home, at all.  And adding chores and roles to my life just makes it more difficult. The second suggestion made by my brilliant mind was to make a time table with time allocations of how much I’ll be spending on each section I’ll be working on. It looks all good and well on paper, and I hope to follow it through coz if I don’t then I’m doomed.

I got a paint brush on my hand, and I’m trying to paint this picture for you. I’m only creating this throwback moment because I want you to realize that I actually was once in “college” and I had all the college time in the world. See the thing is, I once actually loved college (I said that like an American because that’s the one place in the world that can create a false perception of what the world is really like. Have you seen how they make “college” look like? Like it’s the best place in the world to be;… please!!). Anyways; I was once in college too, and that was last year 2nd semester when I was only doing 3 clinical sciences modules, it was like the American college for real. I had so much time in my hands I had the time to think of how to waste it. I’d wake up in the morning and decide I want to see the ocean and smell the ocean breeze, so off to the beach I’d go, I would spend most Tuesdays @Musgrave watching a half price movie or just window shopping, I’d start and finish a whole season of a series in two days and go out partying with friends on Thursday nights because I didn’t have class on Fridays. It was awesome!  I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted during my college time; it was so much fun and I didn’t feel guilty at all because I knew this time of NO TIME was coming, and sure enough, the time for no time is here. Now I’m operating on varsity time and I don’t have the time for college time. I miss my college time, wouldn’t you? lol.

 I don’t like complaining about varsity time because it won’t do me any good; instead it will just waste my time. I’m thinking less talking and more action will do me good. So the fact that we’ve got 3 tests, an assignment, finals presentation and case formulation in less than two weeks matters to nobody but me and my time. Complaining about it does me no good because nobody really cares. Ok maybe care is not the word I’m looking for but you know what I mean. Did I just complain? See, I just spent seconds typing a line that I’m not even sure is supposed to be here. Now I’m wasting time thinking if the previous line I just typed is even necessary…and I’m doing all of this while the clock is ticking. Iesh!

CASUAL DAY...A BIG SPECIAL DAY

CASUAL DAY MADNESS

Friday the 6^th of September was Casual day, a day specially put on the calendar to raise awareness for people with disabilities. The “projects aim to empower communities everywhere. Casual Day seeks to be instrumental in seeing persons with disabilities being included fully in society as interdependent contributors to a better society,” says Casual Day project leader Celeste Vinassa.

Casual day has everything to do with me, it’s just sad that I don’t ever remember being  involved in it, but to make up for that I decided to go “hard” on this one.  So I bought my casual day sticker and put on my BIG CLOWN look, and off into the world I went. The theme for casual day this year was GO BIG!!! And to that I add OR GO HOME. So my theme was GO BIG OR GO HOME. After prac I had to decide if I wanted to change into normal clothes so I can go attend my afternoon lecture. But I thought why should I? If so then I’d rather just stay in my room, because what would be the point if I only dressed up for prac and not for everyone else on campus to see me. So a buddy and I decided to be dressed in our casual day outfits the whole day. We not only went to prac looking that way, we even went to campus to go attend a lecture looking like that. What I liked was that by deciding to do that it actually did raise awareness, people on campus were looking at us and thought of us crazy. Our response to that was, “Its Casual Day!” And I was glad I got the chance to explain what it’s all about to a few guys we happened to bump into on campus.

ZEE AND I EXPLAINING CASUAL DAY TO BUDDIES ON CAMPUS ;)

But just before we got to the chance to raise awareness on campus, we had crazy fun at the Lodge. My team and I had a spring day/GO BIG theme for the day. We had set up the pool area with beautiful big flowers and balloons, had a big sign reading casual day and had made and bought crops for the residents at the lodge to wear on the day, to set the mood we music playing on the background. We started off the day with a warm up session of a chocolate game. In this game each resident had the chance to roll the dice, if they lucky to hit a 6, they had the chance to eat some chocolate. A twist to this game though was that they had to wear gloves, a hat and try to eat the chocolate using a fork. They had the chance to eat the chocolate until someone else it a 6.And if no1 did, then they could carry on eating the chocolate until someone did. They enjoyed this game so much, each person was eager to try hitting a 6 on the dice just to the get the chance to eat some chocolate.

The rest of the day we had them play an obstacle course which including an egg and spoon race, score in the hoola, 3 legged race and cross-word puzzle with words which were part of the theme for the day, e.g.; casual day, fun, friends, etc. After the residents had their lunch, our supervisor suggested we set up a photo booth so that we capture memories of the day. We took so many pictures we almost got carried away. Oh before I forgetJ, we also had a branchless BIG tree printed out for them and each resident had to dip their finger on paint and create branches on the tree using their finger tips. We’ll have that organized to be put in a frame and placed on a vacant space on the wall of the lodge so that the residents have the picture as a reminder for the 2013 casual day, I liked that idea, and I thought the idea was a special thoughtJ.

I enjoyed my casual day, and I enjoyed helping put on a big smile on the people we were raising awareness towards. It was a special day for me. And I will be participating in casual day a whole lot more than I’m use to doing, even if it will be a simple tweet on my twitter handle, a change of status on my bbm or facebook or a purchase of a sticker. I will rest knowing that even though my actions may be small, I know they came from a bigger thought and a heart and one day will be proven in bigger actions.

up (center): Jadie and I rocking out at the photo booth. Up (right) :Jadie and I making big glasses for the residents at the lodge. bottom: picture of us and the residents at the lodge :)

I've Been Thinking

I've been thinking that i havent been thinking. The irony of it all is that this is actually the kind of thinking that we are being trained to do. But like the speaker states, at this stage of my life, my initial thought when someone tells or gives me notes to read on about  thinking to me I’m thinking, what makes you think I can’t think??  What makes you think I haven’t been thinking and made you want to teach me on how to think? This is almost entirely   insulting right? Because it’s literally insinuating that I have been living my life without thinking.  The rude awakening here was that YES Nthabiseng you actually haven’t been thinking at all. Yes you haven’t been thinking about how you live your life, yes you haven’t been finding meaning to the things you experience everyday and yes you have been thinking that everything that happens is about you, you, and you. Just to highlight myself centeredness, the critical thinking training that’s been taught isn’t being taught to me alone. It’s not a private tutorial teaching Nthabiseng on how to think, but here I am thinking, me, me, and me. And thinking why would my lecturer give me notes on critically thinking? When in actual fact what I should be maybe looking into is, why would she think there is a need to teach all of us on how to think? Because then, that would give me a better understanding of what kind of thinking she’s implying we haven’t been doing. And it was only after this 22 minute clip  by David Wallace _Titled This Is Water that I got my “AHA” moment. It not the thinking that we haven’t been doing, it’s the Critical thinking rather.

“Learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience…”  It’s about constantly selecting what is worth a thought and critically finding meaning and application to that thought. Do you know how draining that seems? I’m finding it hard just thinking about it, lol. It’s saying that, I have the power to select what I want to think about and the power in that selection then determines the outcome of how I see my surroundings. Thinking means actively and consciously engaging in the everyday happenings, constantly! everyday.  Wow! I think that’s a hell of a job to do. And I think it’s a skill really because it requires a lot of thought processing and rationalization. And I think it’s something you learn and eventually master and isn’t something you just waking up in the morning and magically know how to do.

But just imagine you become that person who has to think of reasons for why an idiot decided to hit the red light so you don’t get easily frustrated but rather pray that he doesn’t cause an accent because of his speeding, or how, after standing a ridiculous amount of time in the line of a grocery store.  You get to the till to face a lady who has plastered a fake smile and with a drained out voice asks you “would you like a packet for your milk and bread?” And you so consumed in your centeredness, thoughtlessly get frustrated because she is wasting your precious time by asking you stupid questions. But how much of your time did she really waist? No think about.

Imagine being so engaged with what is happening around you that you seize the opportunity to spare a though for someone else and you actually come to a realization that the universe isn’t a space created just for you. And that there are others in need of a smile, in need of hearing an uplifting song or in need  of an  outstretched helping hand.  Just think about having the humility to think not less of yourself, but to think about yourself less.

And you know what’s really funny?  “The client is conscious and aware of her surrounding” This is how I would report on assessment finding about a client and his/her level of consciousness. But is he or she really? ...Are you and I?

To check the video out got to: http://amybrownot.blogspot.com/

Midterm Case Presentation

I remember my first psychosocial case presentation, even though it was 1^st semester 2012, trust me I remember it all too well.  I hadn’t slept prepping for it; no really I literally hadn’t sleep. I remember walking in there thinking, that’s it. I’M DONE. My supervisor is going to know that I haven’t given myself enough time to prepare for my presentation and she’s going to fail me. It would be evident in my face, my speech and my presentation.  I hadn’t practiced not once, I was exhausted! And all I wanted to do was get it over and done with. And sure enough, all those doubts and fears that I had walking in to present were written all over me and my supervisor could see it. I was too nervous, not confident about my findings and was just battling to present my client to her as a whole. I was even battling to stay awake. Those 20 minutes presenting felt like an hour and I’ll admit, I wanted to cry there a little. But my supervisor couldn’t have been more positive. She greatly criticized my presentation and pointed out things that were missing, told me what I needed to work and highlighted my efforts .To someone else it would have been negative, but to me it was positive because I’ve always been the person who takes criticism positively. So even though it wasn’t my best work (and I knew it), she acknowledged my efforts and tried to find something good in it. So believe it or not I made it through and passed just by the skin of my teeth.

Yesterday was psychosocial mid-terms presentation for one of my clients at North Bay lodge. I had dedicated my whole weekend doing my case formulation and presentation simultaneously. It consumed so much of my time; I even forgot to eat on Saturday. Even though I wasn’t completely done on Monday, this time I was confident that I would finish it on time. I’d have time to practice it and have a goodnight rest. Which I did J

When comparing my 1^st psychosocial presentation to the one I was did Tuesday I would say I was much more prepared and less anxious. Even though I had a mini anxiety attack and thought I was gonna die when I found out that 3 supervisors will be sitting in on our presentation and nailing us with questions and putting us on the spot in front of the other students. I managed to find comfort from my memory of previous successful presentations and the little experienced I’ve now gained on presenting thus far. I would have been unfair to myself if I predicted this presentation to be a complete failure because I thought it would be presented by the same person who presented that never to be talked about psychosocial presentation a year ago. I’m not the same as I was then:

So here I am, blogging about it; which means I’ve survived it lol.

What I learnt I learnt on Tuesday:

1.      For some weird reason, presenting in front of everyone else actually provided a support structure for me. Just to witness everyone else going through the same emotions such as anxiety reminded me that hey, I’m actually not in this alone. And to my surprise, supervisors were for us, not against us. Thing is, they always are lol, I just tend to forget that at times. All three gave me positive feedback and I now have a better direction with my client

2.      I really liked the difference in presentation styles as it showed differences in personalities and in some presentation you could actually see the reflection of the client more than the student presenting it. E.g.; some of the presentations had pictures taken by the clients when they were doing a values clarification activity or a gardening activity. That for me showed that the student made the presentation more personal by including good and positive aspects of the client instead of what needs to be fixed about the client.

3.       I would also my the supervisors say that others may need more practice in the delivery or how they present their client’s story because it’s including myself.

4.      I would agree that even though I see growth within myself and feel a sense of pride, I have a view of who I could possibly become meaning I’m not my best yet. And what I like about that is that, even though it was a great opportunity to see how others present and how well others do it. It helped me gain confident in wanting to improve myself. And remember not to try and be like them, or try to do it like them because if I were to do that, then I’d be setting myself up for failure. But rather try and learn to bring forth my personality as well when I present.  

5.      I also learnt that it’s very important to find the history (the source) and the life events that the client has been through. It’s best to understand the context in which the client was previously in, the context the client currently finds him/herself in and how then treatment can impact on the client and help them get back the same or different environment or context in a more meaningful way. Also knowing your client very well also helps because what I noticed was that the people that were most confident to present were the ones who knew their client very well. And within knowing your client, you the presenter then have a better chance of presenting him/her to everyone else. It then helps the listeners get a picture of the client and why you’d chose to implement the treatment strategies, no questions asked.  

Midterm case presentation done and dusted! Now for the finals!!!

Filling you in :)

Ok so for the duration on the psychosocial prac, each student is meant to be working with two clients simultaneously. From my previous blog entry I had introduced to you one of my clients. And on the second week our supervisor had assigned us one more client, meaning I have been engaging in treatment sessions with my 2 clients for the past week.

My second client was a 68 years old white female who has been living at the lodge for more than 20 years. I say was because she recently hasn’t been feeling well and so was admitted to hospital and has been undergoing tests because the doctors suspect that she has cancer of the throat L. She had previously mentioned to me that her throat had been giving her problems, but I hadn’t suspected much because she had been recovering from the flu, only to find out a week later that the discomfort she had been feeling could possibly be cancer of the throat/esophagusL. So unfortunately I’ve had to be allocated a new client prematurely.

In the mean time I have been working with my higher functioning 33 year old client and have figured out her difficulties and why it would have be a tad bit difficult to try and get her into the community. Not just getting her into the community but getting her in the community and expecting her to function within reasonable expectations even with her diagnosis. My long term aim with her was to get her into the open labour market at the PnP Hyper that’s really close to the lodge. Now to me this didn’t seem farfetched because she presented to be very competent in her duties at the lodge (these entailed kitchen duties of sweeping and mopping the floor. Preparing the dining room tables, washing dishes after meals and helping out with tea). I constantly would ask myself what could be the possible hindrance for this client if she were to work into the open labour market. She seems competent enough in the work she is already assigned too and has good social skills. Light bulb moment was only when we did a money management game. It became so clear to me that she would crumble under the pressure of the outside world.  She presented with no concept or worth of money and a simple addition proved to be too abstract for her. So imagine if she got hired and would have to deal with managing a sum of money each month when she can barely cope with a R100 note. I wanted to burry myself for having missed that. I realized I would have been so selfish by doing so because I would have been ignoring all signs and reasons of why she hasn’t possibly been able to do that before. I would have just focused on my own pursuits and focused on testing my capabilities as a student. Because you have to admit, doing this would have been a huge accomplishment for me and I would have felt worthy and would have developed a trust in my abilities. But how would this have helped my client? Really, How? Instead, I would have perpetuated and exacerbated all insecurities and in capabilities she has known about herself.  And left her in so world daunting and overwhelming to cope with. I would have been setting my client up for failure because I would have been expecting too much from her.  So even though she is high functioning I have to remember that it’s within the context she finds herself in and it doesn’t necessarily reflect her capabilities in the outside world. With that said I have slightly shifted my train of thought and am hoping to expand her capabilities within the facility. Why not make her great at what she’s good at?

 Today I got two new clients.  One is female and presents to have mild intellectual impairment and has been residing at the lodge for 11 years. And I have a clear picture of what my focus will be with her, because she takes her work very seriously and values her duties at the lodge, my plan with her will be to expand and explore possible leisure pursuits that can add meaning to the life she is currently living because she too is one of the higher functioning individuals. And the other is interestingly a high functioning male (who had to drop out medical school due to his diagnosis) and is presenting to be in the residual phase of treatment. I just had a brief introductory session with him and he seemed just a bit hesitant to want and work with me but promised to try. Out of all the cases presented to me thus far, it would be interesting to work with him and find out how he defines himself amongst others within the facility because as others may be high functioning most of them are there to be presenting with intellectual disabilities. Whereas him on the other hand, it’s more of a chemical imbalance of the brain which he himself could possible explain to me about. I hope I am able to maintain my role as a student therapist with this client and not find myself too intimidated that it becomes a problem during therapy sessions.

All in all im loving my stay at the lodge, i'm loving the grils im with (My class mates). They provide me with support (we support and help eachother when one needs help). I just need to remember not to lose track of my clients needs because ultimately they are the ones i'm offering my service too, and i could never go wrong if my sessions are client specific.  

I Am A Human Being

I chose to upload this video because it such a powerful reminder of whom I always thrive to be, it reminds me of a person or rather the human being I should be. Now this is more into my personal space, outside academics and more into another part of what makes Nthabiseng J

I try to live my life as a Christian, but it gets hard sometimes because of many terrible things that happen around you and the things that get done to you or even to the people you love. It’s like sometimes life gets so arrogant enough to remind you that you actually have little control over what happens to you, and that the rest is actually controlled by powers greater than you. Now I believe that whole heartedly. But I also believe that God created in us will power and a mind far greater than we dare to explore. And that’s why we sometimes find ourselves failing to fathom the simplicity of living life, and that things such as love, laughter and forgiveness are the source of liberation. And that life is not about what's to be but rather about what is at that moment. So as long as I remember the beautiful message that Dr Maya Angelou teaches me in this video. I should never look at another human and judge because I too possess the same traits whether bad or good.  And just because I choose the later, I still need to remember that we all created by that 1 person I chose to praise, it’s a hard fact to try and grasp, but it’s true.

THe Intouchables

Ok you gonna have to believe me when I say OT is the most fun degree to ever be studied at a university lol, and I’m not only saying that because the OT committee successfully arranged a free movie night for the health science students at our campus, NO. And it’s not even because everyone that came to watch the movie would agree that they enjoyed every second of it. Oh nO! Lol. OT being fun has nothing to do with that of course. I mean, just because we the only degree to ever do such (as far as I recall), doesn’t mean we awesome, right?Right J

So a few hours just after prac on Tuesday, I had a date with my classmates and the rest of health sciences at the GSB theatre to watch the movie The Intouchables. I’m so glad I went, besides the fact that it was free. I was actually really excited to see what one of my lectures was so excited about. She’s part of the OT committee who arranged movie night and she had been urging us to watch this movie, so after she had arranged it. How could I not go? I loved every bit of it; it’s a different kind of comedy-drama because it helps us look at humor in a very different way and the way this movie goes about creating stereotypes and cliché’s on the big screen is totally fun. So of course it was typical in a sense that it’s taken from the same angle most movies are taken from, where it’s the same cliché’ of two different people, from two different worlds meeting. And through experimenting and doing something outside the norm, they both get to experience life in a way different to most average people. But trust me, if you’re the kind of person who finds beauty at the site of the ocean you gonna love this movie because it reassures us that it is in actual fact the priceless moments that bring about fulfillment and purpose to the soul of one. So please check it out, it’s awesome! Stereotypes and cliché’s were never this fun J

North Bay Lodge

The 13/09/2013 was my first day of psychosocial 3yr prac at North Bay Lodge (NBL). It is a residential facility for upper class individuals all presenting with some degree of mental illness. It’s a privately run (not funded by the government) facility caring for 40 residences.

On the morning of the prac, we meet up with our supervisor and we had a brief touch up about what we were expecting of the day and what were we feeling. I was feeling a bit nervous, uneasy and not very sure of what / how the day was going to pan out. But as we got the feel of the facility I had no choice but to warm up to the atmosphere and the beautiful paintings and art that surrounded the place. From the moment we walked in the facility, there was a young guy sitting just outside the entrance playing his guitar slowly and softly, almost saying welcome J

We met up with the manager who was just as welcoming and energetic. She seemed very pleased to meet with us. She orientated us to the facility which turned out to be smaller than I had anticipated but beauty just the same as I had in my head, if not so, more. They have a lounge area where they can sit and watch tv, a dining area for all their meals, patios, a salon, a gym that they use on the regular, a kitchen, a laundry place which is situated outside and bedrooms. Each residence has their own uniquely designed spacious room bringing about a sense of individuality; it highlights autonomy, and uniqueness which is rather refreshing as compared to other psych venues I’ve heard about and have been too.

On the day we were allocated two residences to work with. I got the chance to work with my first. She is a 33 year old black female who has been residing there for more than 10 years. She is the only black female there and is still very young as compared to the majority of the white pensioners who reside at NBL. Already this brings about curiosity about how she has learnt to identify herself within the context she has found herself because she moved into the facility when she was still a 19 year old and now she is a young adult.  I interviewed her, did the mini-mental state examination and we did card making. From the assessments I gathered that the client presents with mild intellectual disability. From the assessments carried out she presents to have good social and communication skills. She doesn’t struggle to hold a conversation (both in English and isiZulu) she handles and uses tools and materials well i.e.; scissors and pen but evidently has difficulty with literacy and numeracy as her reading, spelling and writing would appear to be that of a 8 year old. And she also has trouble with numbers and counting.

My supervisor was present during the card making activity, she gave positive feedback about identifying good establishment of rapport between my client and I and advised that my activities with this client be more concrete, direct, step-by-step and flop proof. She points out that this would have given a better indication of which level my client present to be at, and I agree. Therefore for now I hope it’s safe to assume that placing her at imitative participation under the creative participation model.

So at the end of it all once each of us had met up with our clients, my group members and I met up to find out how each was feeling about the events of the day, and without doubt there was a general consensus about feeling a little bit on the edge because everyone was still nervous about which step to take with the clients that had been given to us. Aside from the nerves kicking in and everything just becoming so real I personally also sense a very positive drive coming from both my group members and my supervisor. I sense a positive vibe from myself as well. I’m not as nervous as I expected to be, I have borrowed books from the library and I have been doing some reading. Now I have a sense of direction on what to focus on, so I just need to keep focus, do as much reading as I possibly can and get to understand intellectual disability much better so that I am able to help my client the best way I know how. Therefore even though I’m feeling a bit nervous now, I feel secure and guided and I’m positive for the end result of this prac. And individually for my client, I feel as though I can make a change, but its gonna be one that needs to be pushed beyond boundaries because it mostly has to do with who she is and how she perceives and identifies herself within the facility and as an individual as a whole. The level she current present to be drives my treatment rationale to be directed towards self-esteem, deinstitutionalization and possibly vocational rehabilitation.  

My client has been in this facility for more than 10 years now, she has adapted to abiding to the system that has been set up for her and has eventually found her role as an individual living within the facility. She has found that little space to exist and get by, but I believe she is still too young for that. I’m here to help her find her confidence, herSELF, her image and to possibly help her to not only exist within those walls. But to live within and without this confined space she has known to be her home.

RElaxation

 

The way you make feel

 It really turns me on

You knock my off my feet

My lonely days are gone.

The way you make me feeeel! Hahaha.

RELAX!!!!

 You not reading the wrong thing, I just happen to be listening to that song while I was writing this entry. Ok to the real thing.

IMAGINE you are walking toward the ocean.... walking through a beautiful, tropical forest....

You can hear the waves up ahead.... you can smell the ocean spray.... the air is moist and warm.... feel a pleasant, cool breeze blowing through the trees....

You walk along a path....coming closer to the sea....as you come to the edge of the trees, you see the brilliant aqua color of the ocean ahead....

You walk out of the forest and onto a long stretch of white sand.... the sand is very soft powder.... imagine taking off your shoes, and walking through the hot, white sand toward the water....

The beach is wide and long....

Hear the waves crashing to the shore....

Smell the clean salt water and beach....

You gaze again toward the water.... it is a bright blue-green....

See the waves washing up onto the sand..... and receding back toward the ocean.... washing up.... and flowing back down..... Enjoy the ever-repeating rhythm of the waves...

Imagine………okay now snap out of it now lol. This is exactly what happened in class when we were practicing relaxation. We had been learning about anxiety and one of the tasks we had to do was come up with an activity that could be used as relaxation therapy for clients who experienced anxiety. We had assigned ourselves into groups and my group decided on doing Beach Visualization Relaxation. And what I just had you imagine is an extract from the technique. It worked beautifully. Two o my group member who were running the session with the class had them lie down on the floor and had them visualize the beach, now there are particular steps to the whole process. And it actually works. With Romaana’s (my group member) calm, soothing voice and music sounding like waves of the ocean in the background we had almost everyone relaxed in no time.

Well ofcos not everybody liked it, because not everybody is brought to peace by the sounds of the ocean. But all in all, it was our relaxation technique was criticized to be one that can be used with clients experiencing anxiety and be successful.

Now my class is very creative J , so not only would we have gone outside to experience nature in the form of the sun glistering on our skin and the birds singing as a form of relaxation.  But we also had to do Yoga, stress and anger management and we even had a technique that helped us channel our anxiety and emotions using play dough.

I for one loved these relaxation session, but with all techniques that we practice on clients, we always have to remember to make it specific, gradable and client centered other wise in an attempt to help the client relax we might just increase anxiety.

Just a thought, imagine a doctor that smokes. Now this person knows exactly what smoking can do to them, but he smokes anyway. And an educated man like him knows exactly where to get help to try stop smoking, but he probably reckons aaarg imma smoke anyway. This man is probably stressed and uses smoking as means to relax. Now this person not only has the insight but has the choice as well. I’m sharing this example because I have a friend who now and then has is currently channeling her anxiety. Now she is also well aware of what happens to her because she has the insight, and she has been bravely controlling it. But to think that she always knew about anxiety disorder because she has been studying it, but also felt victim of having to seek for help somewhere else to manage it only highlights that in life we come so consumed with what’s going on around us we forget to realize what’s happening within us. Lets us not fall victim to becoming the stressed ones of life, let’s breathe in and out and live!

GET ON THE TRAIN!

Sanibonani bafw2! ;)

Bringing such to your awareness, I begin my psychosocial block at North Bay Lodge on the 13^th August 2013 which is the upcoming Tuesday. So in order to prepare us, we have been receiving lectures on issues such as Substance abuse, Personality disorders, Mood disorders and schizophrenia. Other lectures are still coming up and we will be receiving them during the days that we are not on prac. So to further prepare us we had a compulsory mock prac lecture that took place on Wednesday, which was aimed to help us gain confidence about the upcoming block.

“Never regard your study as a duty, but as the inevitable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of your community to which your later work belongs” Albert Einstein. This was the opening quote to the lecture, a quote chosen and uploaded by one of my classmates on her blog. We reflected about this quote and it quickly reminded us about what the focus of our practice should be as students. This quote leads us into understanding that even though we are students and are mostly focused on getting our grades and graduating.  We need not forget that we are hampering with the everyday lives of individuals in hope to make it more meaningful. Therefore every step of the way, we need to be mindful, exposed and ready to experience each step of the way so that we don’t find ourselves wondering where the past two years have gone.  And end up missing the little moments that make life worth it.

We went on to watch videos that were also focused on helping us view life with just a little bit of a minds edge. We watched a video about Mental Health Care in Africa, a video about what Motivates us and my favorite (view it if you may) Buddha on the Train - YouTube . If you can’t watch it, let me try and paint the picture for you. This video is about a man on a train; imagine a train filled with people filled to point that some people are even standing. Each one of them minding their own business; some are reading a book, newspaper; others are looking out the window and some falling off to sleep. There’s dead silence and all you hear is just the sound of the train as it moves along the railway track. Then all of a sudden one of the men standing begins to giggle, and he continues to giggle till he can’t hold it in and then begins to laugh. hysterically!!. Now initially everybody in the train is either annoyed, irritated or is at best trying to ignore this man. Even though no one positively responds to his laughing, he continues to laugh so hard that there’s no way of ignoring him. After all laughter is contagious, and from the one person who response to his laughter it becomes a ripple effect and he has every single one of them in that train laughing. And not just laughing, hysterically laughing. And before you know we as the students watching in class start laughing too. Lmao! It’s such a cool video.

 Now there is so much that could be learnt from watching this seriously hilarious simple video, but I think the most important to take which is most relevant to the me beginning my psychosocial block is that. In order to have a chance at bringing about change, one has to stand out. Be stupid! be loud, be persistent until there a response. Until you have influenced someone positively, because after all that is what we are aiming for in life right? to create the infinite cycle of positivity for the people we meet?. Initially this man was seen as an idiot for seemingly laughing non-stop in the middle of people he didnt even know him,what was he even laughing at you would ask. nobody knows but it was provocative, hahaha got the people going. He possibly could have made everyones day on that train.

During mock prac lectures also discussed case formulations, cultural formulations, and case presentations etc which are all the mandatory things that are important in helping our supervisors, lecturers and ourselves evaluate our understanding of psychosocial therapy as a means of treatment intervention for mentally ill individuals. I’m not as nervous about my psychosocial blog as I previously was, I’ve done some reading, I’m still reading and I’m feeling  a normal sense of anxiety now. Whereas in the begging I could have exploded. Quiet honestly I’m not yet ready, and I know the clock is ticking. But I’ll be ready in a minute. And I’m hoping it’s not a minute too late because I definitely want to part of that train ride.

Sharp!

The Injustices Of Our Past Echo In Buildings And Structures That Still Surround Us

It's A Promising Site

Sanibona bafwe2 J

I’m back on my journey. No really, I’m back OMG! I literally haven’t dealt with the psychosocial module for 2 years. That’s right 2 years!!!  I’ve been anxious about 2nd semester even while I was in 1^st semester. So you can only imagine what’s going through my mind. Its thoughts ranging from MSE, dominoes, hallucination, delusions, dementia, and asking myself questions such as isn’t alzheirmers a form of dementia? All I know is I’ve got to READ READ and READ! And that’s only if I want to make it through this block alive J .

The major module that carries weight towards my marks for this semester is the psychosocial module, this is a module that deals with equipping us students with the necessary skills and knowledge to be able to help individuals that have mental illnesses to be able to engage in meaningful and valuable occupation. For the duration of my psychosocial block, three of my classmates and I have been allocated to be at North Bay Lodge where we will be allocated clients to work with for an estimated 8 weeks for 2 times a week (which will be on Tuesdays and Fridays).

One of the first things our lecturer asked us the first day we got back was was…”what are you expecting from this psychosocial block?”. Well from around the class, answers such as…”I’m expecting to be challenged”, “I’m expecting to really work hard and I’m anticipating growth along the way”. Those were just a few quotes from what my classmates had said when asked that question.

Quiet honesty I hadn’t really thought about it as yet but once I was given the opportunity to kinder search for what it is  I’m willing to gain during this block. The answered guided me towards focusing on what I want to give, rather than gain. So I’ve given my mind clearance in hopes that I’m able to be as open minded as possible so as to gain knowledge and experience enough so that I’m able to give back to the clients at North Bay with full potential. Basically with this block, I’m attempting to be like a sponge, if one places a sponge in water. It absorbs as much water as it can possible take. Once it’s taken out, without even squeezing it, it starts to release what it has taken in. now that’s how I want to tackle this block, that’s the mentality in setting my mind up for. I want to come as empty as I can possibly be and leave the same way but hopefully because I’ve learnt and given so much. And not because I’ve worked so hard to the point where I’m left with nothing to look back and be proud to have accomplished, both for the client and myself individually as a budding therapist.

How am I preparing myself for this semester/psychosocial module?

Truthfully, I hadn’t been. But after my lecture I would have been a fool not to attempt to read anything. So there I was on the net trying to read everything I possible can about North Bay Lodge which is the psychosocial fieldwork site I have been placed on. And NOTHING! Just directions and contact details of the lodge. Awu L  dead end? No of course not. So I remember a friend of mine, currently doing her 4^th year in OT this year. And she had been to the very same site I’ve been allocated to. She told me about what to look out for, informed me about the state of the facility and the clients I’m mostly likely to come in contact with. From our discussion I now have an overview of what to expect about the facility but I figure i will only let you know about my expectation once I’ve been to the site, for now. Because like I said previously, I want to be open minded. Therefore it’s good that I’ve had an overview about what to expect, but I still want to go there riding my mind of any stereotype that I might have gained from listening to her experience of being there. All in all I’m hoping for the best at North Bay Lodge J. It’s a promising site.

I'm still Learning

Sanibona bafwe2 J

So just before I sleep after a very long day, I reckon I go learn exactly how a blog works. Only to find that the last post i published wasn’t so much of a post.  It’s incomplete, huh? i know right? trust me I don’t know how that happened, just like I don’t know how this whole blogging thing works, but I’m still learning and i'm willing to learn, just please bear with me. I’ll get it right, soon!

So in an attempt to rectify what I previously posted, I’ll post the same thing again, well hopefully this time it will be complete. :)

Sho!

Its A Promising Site :)

Sanibona bafwe2 J

I’m back on my journey. No really, I’m back OMG! I literally haven’t dealt with the psychosocial module for 2 years. That’s right 2 years!!!  I’ve been anxious about 2nd semester even while I was in 1^st semester. So you can only imagine what’s going through my mind. Its thoughts ranging from MSE, dominoes, hallucination, delusions, dementia, and asking myself questions such as isn’t alzhiermers a form of dementia? All I know is I’ve got to READ READ and READ! And that’s only if I want to make it through this block alive J .

The major module that carries weight towards my marks for this semester is the psychosocial module, this is a module that deals with equipping us students with the necessary skills and knowledge to be able to help individuals that have mental illnesses to be able to engage in meaningful and valuable occupation. For the duration of my psychosocial block, three of my classmates and I have been allocated to be at North Bay Lodge where we will be allocated clients to work with for an estimated 8 weeks for 2 times a week (which will be on Tuesdays and Fridays).

One of the first things our lecturer asked us the first day we got back was was…”what are you expecting from this psychosocial block?”. Well from around the class, answers such as…”I’m expecting to be challenged”, “I’m expecting to really work hard and I’m anticipating growth along the way”. Those were just a few quotes from what my classmates had said when asked that question.

Quiet honesty I hadn’t really thought about it as yet but once I was given the opportunity to kinder search for what it is  I’m willing to gain during this block. The answered guided me towards focusing on what I want to give, rather than gain. So I’ve given my mind clearance in hopes that I’m able to be as open minded as possible so as to gain knowledge and experience enough so that I’m able to give back to the clients at North Bay with full potential. Basically with this block, I’m attempting to be like a sponge, if one places a sponge in water. It absorbs as much water as it can possible take. Once it’s taken out, without even squeezing it, it starts to release what it has taken in. now that’s how I want to tackle this block, that’s the mentality in setting my mind up for. I want to come as empty as I can possibly be and leave the same way but hopefully because I’ve learnt and given so much. And not because I’ve worked so hard to the point where I’m left with nothing to look back and be proud to have accomplished, both for the client and myself individually as a budding therapist.

How am I preparing myself for this semester/psychosocial module?

Truthfully, I hadn’t been. But after my lecture I would have been a fool not to attempt to read anything. So there I was on the net trying to read everything I possible can about North Bay Lodge which is the psychosocial fieldwork site I have been placed on. And NOTHING! Just directions and contact details of the lodge. Awu L  dead end? No of course not. So I remember a friend of mine, currently doing her 4^th year in OT this year. And she had been to the very same site I’ve been allocated to. She told me about what to look out for, informed me about the state of the facility and the clients I’m mostly likely to come in contact with. From our discussion I now have an overview of what to expect about the facility but I